Celebrity Death List 2008

Well, 2007’s death list was kind of a wash — my only right guess was Jean Baudrillard. Here’s hoping for more accurate death-calling in the new year. And, responding to Charles’ criticism of my last list, I’ve made sure to include some female candidates.

Candidates (in order of likeliehood)

1.  Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) – saw him the other day on CSpan looking very old, tired, and shaky. Reminded me I had to do this list.

2. Claude Levi-Strauss – Going on 100 – so old! Also need a token theorist.

3. Betty Ford (former first lady/drunk) – Yeah, she old too.

4. Amy Winehouse (scary witch lady) – Eh, why not?

5. Ernest Borgnine (actor) – He’s 90!

6. J.D. Salinger (author) – You know, so we can read all that shit he’s been working on. Just kidding: if it’s anything like Catcher in the Rye and Franny & Zoey I’ll read it when I’m a life-stage or two too mature for it to resonate.

7. Young Jeezy (rapper) – He’s young (30) but he’s prone to shootouts and car-wrecks. Plus no list is complete without a token rapper on it (ask every music mag).

8. Hamid Karzai  (President of Afghanistan) –  It was either him or Nouri al-Maliki.

9. Charleton Heston (actor) – Has Alzheimer’s; also old.

10. Farrah Fawcett (famous nipple possessor) – Has butt cancer, refusing standard chemo in favor of experimental German treatment.  The miraculous information you learn when you google “celebrities with cancer.”